


Ship to Wreck

by dckinson



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Theatre, Angst, Bisexual Lance of course, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is So Done, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Slow Burn, broganes, keith is oblivious, lance is Trying so hard not to Fall but here we are. gravity you know?, lance speaks a lot of spanish because i am latina so i need my bisexual latino rep, romeo and juliet - Freeform, tags are fun take them away from me, will take anything else if necessary later on!!!!!!!!, yeah sorry but i am the worst so there will be a bit of angst sometimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-08 01:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15232476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dckinson/pseuds/dckinson
Summary: No, things were not okay, thank you very much. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, having to be the Romeo to your supposed-archenemy’s Juliet is not that much of a big deal – you are an actor, right? Get over it! Lance McClain knows he is a professional, and so is Keith (as much as he hates to admit it), so they should both ace this Romeo and Juliet thing without any homicidal thoughts surprising them along the way.However, things get messy when Lance realizes feigning to be in love with Keith is not that hard, and Romeo’s romantic monologue carries way more meaning than he at first intended to.In which Lance is Trying and Keith can't help but be as oblivious as one can get.





	1. I can't help but pull the earth around me

**Author's Note:**

> this is what happens when the Most Intense Person Ever (me) decides to write a fic about the Most Intense Character Ever (lance mcclain) and his Impulsive Yet Sweet Boyfriend (keith kogane). a mess, really.
> 
> disclaimer: english is not my mother tongue so if you see any grammar/spelling mistakes feel free to tell me about them so I can correct them!!

What do you do when the city is asleep? Is there a story in every corner, in every roof, in every flickering light or empty trash can? Lance has never appreciated the dark sky or the silent city that whispers crimes and danger into his mind. It was only in Cuba, the cold sand finding a safe space between his toes, the ocean singing him a personalized lullaby, that he felt safe enough to wander around in the dark. Pillow talks were only up his lane when his back was pressed against his sister’s, their hearts synchronized while they listened to each other intently. He mumbled about boys, girls, bisexuality, anxiety and everything in between. Her soft voice caressed similar topics, focusing on girls, sickness and going away to university. They both knew it wasn’t easy for their parents, none of it, neither the queerness that floated in the room nor the money they had to sweat and bleed for them to study abroad (nor, Lance thought, the screams and nightmares and anxiety attacks that had his whole body shaking with fear, the floor under him just disappearing and a loop of falling falling falling falling taking over his mind). But they were grateful for their sincere smiles, the effort, the space they had given them, for standing up for them against the rest of their extremely conservative family members.

But now, it was all gone.

Lance sometimes misses Veronica’s hair, the way it danced around his fingers like they were meant to braid it. It calmed him down so much, to just let himself be close to his sister, to allow her reach out to him and get him out of the spiral down that was his mind.

That’s why he hated the night so much now that he was here, in Altea University; because the stars were the key that unlocked his mind, that set his anxiety into motion. His brain was like a time bomb, always waiting for the right moment to tic, to combust, to beep beep beep beep beep it’s time it’s time it’s time don’t you see it’s time for you to die?

But here _die_ means _let your systems down_ _and let your adrenal gland secrete as much adrenaline as you would need to run from a fucking psycho_ and that means _you are the psycho and you are running from yourself._

So Lance just breathes. He brushes his teeth, caresses his night creams against his face, takes his meds and closes his eyes, allowing his new dorm bed to swallow him whole while Hunk’s snores bite his ears off, like a soft dreamlike orchestra.

* * *

  


“I know you are all excited to know what this year’s production will be, so lets stop fooling around and go straight to the point.” Allura claps her hands and dedicates a polite yet excited smile to the group. “This is certainly a change for all of us, and it will implicate a challenge for some of you. As you may know, Altea University is this year’s proud host of the Shakespeare’s Spring Festival; the SSF basically consists of theatre groups of all around the country showing off their acting abilities by interpreting a series Shakespeare’s plays. Each year, the festival’s host has a different task to follow; once, they had to act out Macbeth wearing space suits. Yeah, weird, I know.”

Lance’s eyes sparkle as he raises his voice, “please tell us this year we get to do King Lear as mermaids. Oh god, that would be hilarious – “

“No, Lance. No mermaids this year. We are doing Romeo and Juliet.” Allura takes a deep breath before going on. “But. Here’s the catch: we have to do it like in Shakespeare’s time.”

“You mean with the plague and syphilis? Or having the actors really kill themselves up there? Because if it’s the latter, I would pay thousands to see Lance choke to death on stage.” Pidge smirks and raises their eyebrows at Lance, who gasps indignantly and races off to catch them. Pidge, small as they are, manages to scurry off and hide behind Keith’s back. The short boy just sighs and lets them cling onto his back like a baby koala, their short chestnut curls intertwining with his own dark locks. Pidge sticks their tongue out at Lance, who wouldn’t dare to tackle Keith in order to catch them. He just sends them an evilly smug look, a promise of vengeance floating over his face.

“No, Pidge.” Keith says, trying to accommodate himself with the newly added weight on his back. “She just means that only those of us who have a dick can have a role in the show.”

It takes a few seconds before everyone finally understands what’s going on. “That sounds like a rule made by a... would this guy be considered an homophobic asshole?” Lance vouches.

“This is so gross,” Pidge grunts, pointing at their crotch. “What about me, huh? Can I act? Or is my annoyingly gendered pussy too much for them to handle?”

Keith moves his head slightly to the side in order to face Pidge and grunts, “you don’t even _know_ how to act, Pidge.”

Allura sighs before going on. “I know this is all a little bit too much, and it might seem a bit conflictive for most of you. If you guys would rather have me cancelling this and informing them we won’t be participating, it’s fine by me; I mean, I don’t get to act this year because, as Pidge courteously said, I have an ‘annoyingly gendered pussy that’s too much for them to handle’.” Allura shrugs, raising her hands in an apologetic way. “It would leave a stain on Altea’s image to just drop out of the competition, _especially_ if we are the ones hosting it, but I’m fine with whatever you decide to do.”

The silence in the room is too heavy, and it lasts so long that Lance feels as if time has stopped. He thinks about everything they’ve fought for, about the yelling and protesting and sign hanging, the LGBT+ group they organized, the “theatre time is my safe time”, all the inclusion and “everybody is allowed here” posters they have hanging around. Are they being too dramatic? Maybe, he doesn’t know. It’s a serious matter, though – it means that most of the crew won’t be able to perform, and some of them aren’t even taken into account because they don’t conform to any of the binary genders they are imposing on them. And what’s the deal with this rule, anyway? Was it supposed to make them uncomfortable to kiss another boy, to have people with typically masculine features flaunting around with beautiful dresses in order to make fun of them? Or it has no rude meaning behind, just tries to honour the past and to deal with things like Shakespeare used to have to? And, Lance might add, Shakespeare was clearly into other dudes, so excuse him if he believes this Willy guy would be totally against this mocking going on when he was totally into getting some –

“Wait!” Lance yelps, raising both his hands and feet, his only source of stability being his butt in order to gain everyone’s attention. “This is great! We can totally use this in our favour!”

Allura wrinkles her nose in confusion. “I don’t see how this situation might benefit us in any possible way, Lance, except for the fact that the big fishes of the theatre world will be able to see you shine their eyes away.”

“Guys, come on,” Lance whines. “We can make this the gayest of all of our shows. We can show the whole world that we are here and we won’t back down.”

“The whole world? Woah, chill – “  


“Pidge, shut up, you know what I mean. Can’t you see this is a great opportunity for us to show everyone we exist and have always existed, and we won’t keep on hiding?” Lance stands up, a hand raised towards the ceiling, his face shining with determination. “I call dibs on a bisexual Romeo.”

“Romeo has _always_ been bisexual,” Keith chides in. “What do you think went down with him and Mercutio behind the scenes?”

Lance sticks his tongue out to him, frowning, while Allura tilts her head to the side and presses her lips together. “Um. You’ve got a point, Lance.”

“Really?”

“Yes! I mean. I can totally see how this could work.” She then lands her gaze on Keith, an evil grin creeping into her face. “I can totally picture Keith weeping his heart out for you, staring at the moon, denouncing the world for its faults which forbid him from being close to you – “

“ _What?!_ ” Keith and Lance both shriek at the same time.

“What do you mean _he_ is going to be _my_ Juliet?” Lance gasps, stepping back and smacking his open palm against his chest indignantly.

“Women’s roles were always played by the shortest men in the group,” Allura smiles sheepishly, motioning to the rest of the crew with her hands. “… and that seems to be you, Keith.”

“Oh no, nonononononoon. No. _Me cago en la mierda_ , nope, nooooope, _esto no está pasando_ ,” Lance puts his hands over his ears and stomps his feet on the floor. “I can’t hear you! It’s not true!”

Keith crosses his arms defensively, a small frown forming on his forehead. “What’s the deal with you? It’s not like I want to do this either.”

“Can’t you see what the problem here is?” Lance kneels down in front of him and grabs him by his shoulders, pushing Pidge aside. “We are _rivals_. I hate you. You hate me. We _hate_ each other.”

“I don’t ha- “

“We are destined to be Tybalt and Romeo, Macbeth and Macduff, Paris and Menelaus, Achilles and Hector, Star Wars and Star Trek, hell even Liam and Noel Gallagher!” the Cuban boy huffs and pouts. “Keith, I am sorry but we aren’t meant to be together.”

(what he doesn’t say is that he would rather die than have to stare into those weirdly purple eyes for more than two seconds, because something about the way Keith moves makes his pulse rush and head reel; his skin feels like burning flesh, like someone sprayed acid on him and he is supposed to live with it for the rest of his life.)

(loathing.)

(he is sure that’s the name for it.)

“Guys, please,” Allura urges. “As soon as I read the rules, I pictured you two dancing on stage, masks covering your features… however, nothing is strong enough to hide the adoration that flows between you two as soon as you set your eyes on each other, and you both smile so softly when the music changes because you know this is it, this is your song…”

Lance gags.

“I can picture it, too,” Romelle, who had been oddly quiet throughout the meeting, chimes in. “I might have been a little bit pissed off about it because playing Juliet is kinda my dream, no biggie, but… if I can’t be her, then I fully support Keith being the gayest Capulet on the planet.”

Allura leans against her and mouths something along the lines _of I’ll let you be my Juliet whenever you want_ and Lance swears to god he has never seen someone’s whole body turn as red as Rom’s when she prods Allura away from her.

The rest of the group nods in agreement and, after a while, it gets settled. Lance and Keith will be this year’s Romeo and Juliet, representing the LGBTQ+ theatre group and avenging a, as Pidge claimed, “strongly pressed homosexual that just wanted to write gay things but would have been thrown to the bonfire if he even tried to” William Shakespeare.

Lance feels the whole world revolting around him fast, like an unexpected thunder that shakes your bones and stops your heart for just a millisecond. The idea of having to share the stage with his self-proclaimed rival as lovers is as gag inducing as anything can get. Lance isn’t sure he will be able to muster the strength to pretend to be in love with him, when all he wants to do is rip his eyes out. He must have done something _outrageous_ in his past life; seriously, karma can be a hell of a bitch.

* * *

  


Hunk full on barks out a laugh after Lance finishes his dramatic story. They are in their dorm, Lance laying on Hunk’s bed, his legs prompted up against the wall while his head barely hangs out of the mattress. Hunk is sitting on the floor cross-legged, his back resting against Lance’s bed.

“Tell me again about how you will have to kiss your,” Hunk raises his hands to make air quotes, “ _’rival’_.”

Lance grabs the nearest pillow and throws it at him, furiously. Hunk just dodges it.

“Hunk! Can’t you see this is serious?! I won’t be able to handle this at all!”

A few hours ago, Lance had gotten the best yet worst news ever: he got to play his favourite character ever (yay) but, his star-crossed lover was being played by his archenemy (no yay). How was he supposed to do this? He can’t even have a full conversation with Keith without wanting to tear his hair out and punch him in the face until he bleeds out in an attempt to erase every perfect thing he has ever done, the amazingness that he breathes out whenever he is around them and how everyone turns around to stare at him as if he was the sun and so much more. Keith might not be the nicest nor the kindest person he knows, but he has that _something_ , that aura floating around him that attracts almost every human being around him (except Lance, obviously). Maybe it’s his long dark hair, usually tied up in a messy ponytail, his uneven bangs brushing against the blue eyeliner he sometimes wears in order to frame his eyes (art students, he thinks, rolling his eyes) or his all black leathered clothes that look so badass whenever he is riding his crimson motorcycle (and Lance lets himself wonder briefly why was he so conscious about all these small details that stick together and meddle with each other in order to become Keith’s persona, a definition of his rival. When did he notice all of this stuff in the first place? He drops the subject as soon as he realizes that’s unexplored territory that will end up with him diverting from the main issue).

“Buddy, you are a professional! Since when do you back down from a challenge?” Hunk asks him, purposefully pressing his buttons. “And, for the record? You don’t hate Keith as much as you claim you do.”

“What are you even talking about? I despise him!”

  
“I’m not sure though? Seriously, you babble about Keith all day; Keith this, Keith that, he is so awesome and magnifique and blablablabla and whenever I see him I want to destroy him because of his stupid physique and stupidly charming bitch face and him constantly beating me at things that weren’t even a challenge but I made them one because I want perfect Keith to pay attention to me.”

Lance snorts. “He is just so annoying, I can’t stand him being better than me at everything.”

“He is not better than you, Lance!” Hunk exclaims, aggressively tugging at his hair. “You are just different people who succeed in different fields! And that’s okay! That’s how the world is supposed to be!”

The shorter boy heaves as he lets himself fall face first on the floor. Rationally, he knows Hunk is right, but it seems so unfair at this point. Keith had managed to sneak up into his friend group unnoticed, no one ever complaining about the fact that a complete stranger was now invading their sacred friendship space (and yeah, maybe it was only a stranger to him, because he is Takashi Shirogane’s brother and Pidge’s best friend since forever. But still. A stranger), while simultaneously crashing his theatre group and deciding he was the best actor out there. Seriously, he had you crying and screaming and laughing and crying again in the spare time of five seconds. Allura was totally awed by his presence, couldn’t stop praising him and even _thanking_ him for joining the group.

Yeah. Whatever.

_Pendejo._

“But he is a better actor than I am.”

Hunk groans. “Dude. Buddy. My man. Can’t you see Allura wants you to be Romeo? I don’t know about you, but in my world that means you are a great actor yourself.” He says, massaging his temples. “You are not thinking straight.”

Lance smirks. “When am I, ever?”

* * *

  


“Oh, great, are you planning on stealing my job now, too?” Lance scoffs as a way of greeting. “What’s next? Gonna bribe Hunk to become your best friend?”

Keith frowns. “I come here literally every day?”

Galra Coffee smells like cheap coffee and plastic croissants, mixed with a little bit of pre-finals stress and dried tears over complicated textbooks. Lance doesn’t actually enjoy working here, but the monotony of smiling, serving coffee and chatting up with a few students is enough to get him distracted for a while. Even if his boss just plain sucks and doesn’t pay him the extra hours he pulls off or the shifts he covers, his salary is enough to help him save money for his next trip to Cuba. So, he just ignores Zarkon’s glares and abuse of his employer power, while also feigning not to notice the deadly sneer his son (Prince Lotor, Pidge calls him mockingly) seems to try to dazzle Lance with, and busies himself with coffees and hearing about Shiro’s day.

“Don’t play innocent with me, Mister Mullet Head!” Lance points an accusing finger towards his rival. “I know your true, dark and sadistic intentions. You want me dead. And I get it, it’s impossible for you to cope with breathing the same air as this beauty!” He says, twirling his hand in the air, sweeping off imaginary hair.

Keith just shoots him a confused yet exasperated look before ordering his typical coffee (all black. Like. No milk. This guy is a monster) and leaning against the counter while waiting for it. Shiro steps out from the staff room just then, and his whole face lights up like a Christmas’ tree at the sight of his little brother. Lance can see the second his eyes transform into a puddle of softness, how his whole aura changes from stressed to just _happy_. Content. He always gets like this when Keith is around, something about his little brother’s presence allowing him to relax for a while. Lance makes a mental note to ask Pidge about it later, but he already knows their answer will be something along the lines of “ _stop prying on other people’s business!_ ”, which leaves everything up to Lance’s imagination, who tries to come up with an explanation to Shiro’s prosthetic arm and his sudden stiffness when he trips over the family topic.

Keith catches his big brother’s eyes and dedicates him a similar smile, something so intimate lingering between them that Lance almost feels like an intruder.

“So,” Shiro begins. “I’ve heard that you two are our next star-crossed lovers.”

Lance gets caught off guard and almost drops Keith’s coffee cup. “Yeah,” he manages to choke out. “I guess.”

Keith stares at him for a second, his brows furrowed, before shaking his head and fixing his gaze on his brother. “It’s cool. I get to be the least annoying character of the play.”

“You sure about that, Mullet? Because if I remember correctly, you are the one that caused the whole suicide thing.” Lance argues, sticking his chin out. “If you had been better at communicating your plan, then – “

“So, it is my fault that you were an idiot and decided to kill yourself when I was clearly alive?” Keith crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows. “Romeo was stupid and immature, just like you.”

“Excuse me? _Pendejo de mierda_ , you don’t know what love feels like! Love makes you dumb! It makes you do stupid things that you would never allow yourself to do if you weren’t so drunk by it!” 

“Are you saying that killing yourself is a romantic gesture?” Keith stares at him in disbelief.

“Of course it is! At least in this context. Can’t you feel the hurt that was rotting Romeo’s insides? Dude, he had fallen _hard_ for Juliet, and nothing would stop him from being with her. Not his family, not an arranged marriage, not death.” Lance raises his eyes to the ceiling and deflates. “You won’t get it. You don’t know what being in love feels like.”

Keith cracks up at this. “Oh, so _you_ do?”

“What? Of course I do, Kogane! Just so you know, I’ve been on a thousand dates.”

“Isn’t it worrying that you can’t make them stay, though?”

The floor cracks under Lance and he can feel himself falling, his hands moving frantically in a desperate yet useless attempt to climb out and reach the light. He sees Keith, his dark hair getting in the way of his face, staring at him from the top of the hole. He is smiling, teasingly, no harm tinting his words. It’s just banter between colleagues, just an ordinary conversation with your rival, in which you just happened to struck a nerve and destroy whatever fortress of confidence he was counting on. Lance realizes, in the way Keith cocks his eyebrow and sends him a strange look, that he is about to be fully exposed. If he doesn’t answer quickly, if he keeps his eyes wandering around Keith’s face, if he can’t find himself and get out of this labyrinth of fear, his weakness would be fully revealed to his sworn enemy. Lance would be exposed to the world, nothing to protect him against the most dangerous threats.

(he can be a bit dramatic, sometimes.)

“Well fuck you, Keith. How do you know I’m not the one uninterested?”

Keith chuckles at that. “Lance, come on. You’ll bang anything that moves.”

“Anything but you, pretty boy,” he retorts with a satisfied grin hanging over his lips, convinced he has won this round.

But Keith just winks at him (fucking _winks_ ), shoots him a smirk and says, “sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, _pretty boy_ ”. And just like that, he is gone.

And Lance wants to die.


	2. A kiss with a fist is better then none

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance appears from behind Allura and points his trademarked finger guns towards Keith. “The name’s Lance. But you already know that.” He winks, and lets his eyes wander over the boy standing in front of him.
> 
> Keith blinks at him. “Who are you?”
> 
> “What?! Are you serious?” Lance stares at him indignantly. “We took the same entrance course!”
> 
> “Really? Are you an art student?”
> 
> “No! I am an astronomy major! We were like rivals. You know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck.”

Leaves start piling up on campus’ streets, and Lance has to wake up at least fifteen minutes earlier in order to be able to step on as many leaves as he can and get to class on time. He knows Coran (his Aquatic Creatures teacher) will be on his ass the whole semester, pestering him to do better because he knows Lance is way more capable than he shows and he is just being lazy. And yeah, he might be a nuisance sometimes, but Coran is actually the nicest teacher he’s ever had; he actually cares about his students, he actually cares about _Lance_ , and that bright orange moustache he somehow manages to pull off is a constant reminder of self-confidence and feeling at peace within yourself that Lance constantly looks up to. He doesn’t know when, how or why this happened, but Coran has actually kind of adopted him as a nephew, as a student he must protect and will annoy until the end of times so as to have him giving his best and succeeding (and, yeah, Lance would be lying if he said he didn’t quite like the attention and praise he receives from his teacher).

As soon as he leans down to pick up a leaf that is orange enough to resemble Coran’s hair, two pairs of arms take him by his elbows and start strutting beside him.

“Hello there, handsome!” Romelle chirps.

“How are you, Lance?” Allura asks softly, a small smile spreading over her pink lips. “We were worried about you.”

Lance pushes his neck backwards in an attempt to stare at both of them. “About me?” His eyes light up and makes a big show of letting himself swoon over them, draping over Romelle’s shoulder. “My heroes!”

“Don’t play dumb with us, Lance McClain,” Romelle warns, pushing him off her and brushing her long blonde hair. “After ‘Llura told you that you were going to be Keith’s Romeo – oh no, you should have seen your face. I swore you were going to puke your guts out right there.”

Allura shoots him a sympathetic look before sighing. “Look, Lance, I don’t want you to be in any uncomfortable position. We can give you another role if you’d like. But I seriously believe, jokes aside, you and Keith will be the best Romeo and Juliet out there. You are in it too deep to see it, but you guys have so much potential it’s actually sickening to have it go to waste.”

Lance keeps quiet for a few seconds while they keep on walking, both girls still clutched to his elbows. Allura’s long white hair brushes against his shoulders and the back of his neck, sending shivers throughout his spine. Okay, Lance _might_ have had a big ass crush on Allura for like a month. (“A month?!” Hunk usually screams. “Dude, you were in love with her for like, years. I doubt you aren’t still mad for her somewhere deep down.”) But who can blame him? She is gorgeous. Not only in a physical way, she just _glows_ ; Allura is the kind of person who enters a room and fills it, and when she smiles at you is like the whole world opens up and everything is so clear. She is like an alien princess from another galaxy that just happened to appear on Earth and decide to steal everyone’s hearts, blessing you by allowing you to breathe the same air as her. The first time he saw her he was dumbstruck, she just gave him the widest smile and a WoC’s Righs pamphlet in exchange for his heart. Just like that, Lance was in love ( _gorgeous and an activist? Sign me the fuck up_ ). He thought fate was right there using a fluorescent sign and screaming to his face that SHE IS THE ONE when she ended up being part of his friend group due to this awesome coincidence of her sharing most of her classes with Shay, who happens to be Hunk’s girlfriend. His best friend’s girlfriend was friends with his future girlfriend. Seriously, was fate trying to spell it out to him or something?  The signs couldn’t be clearer.

Of course, he asked her out a thousand times, but apparently his fashionable finger guns and extremely useful pick-up lines (“Hey, Allura, are you from Tennessee? ‘Cause- ““Lance, don’t”; “Allura!! Help!! Do you have a band aid?!!??!” “Lance? LANCE? WHAT IS GOING ON?” “I just… I scrapped my knee falling for you.” “LANCE.”, and so on) weren’t enough to win over such a beauty’s heart, and Lance had resigned himself to being just friends. It hurt, he won’t deny it, to have his heart crushed mercilessly; he spent entire nights wondering if it was his fault by being too obnoxious, too tall, too skinny, too much _himself_. What kind of guy was he supposed to be in order to have Allura drooling over him?

Everything became quite clear when Romelle came along, and Allura’s eyes resembled whatever he had felt for her all those months before.

All it took for Allura’s façade to crumble down was a shy smile from Romelle, and she was _doomed_. The strong, confident and charming woman he had gotten to know? Gone, leaving behind a stuttering mess of a nineteen-year-old girl who couldn’t stop playing with her hair and blushing like mad whenever her crush was nearby. She was fidgety, a giggle scaping her lips every time Rom was mentioned (or every time she wasn’t, and Allura was just lost in her daydreaming bubble). Lance suffered from seeing her like this, and not because he was still hardcore crushing on her, but because he felt powerless. Seeing Allura turn into a desperately embarrassing being who couldn’t help but trip over her words because of some cute blonde-haired girl was just too much. She wasn’t being smooth, she wasn’t being charming, she wasn’t being _suave_. And who was The Suave King? Yes folks, you’ve guessed it: Lance McClain. So he made it his duty to get Allura and Romelle together, because as much as people called him out for having his head far up his ass, he was actually way more perceptive than people gave him credit for (just by staring at Rom he had guessed that her crashing their study group had little or nothing to do with not understanding physics), which ended up with Rom knocking on Allura’s door at a godly forbidden hour holding a bouquet of some weird ass flowers that were supposed to mean “hey you make my heart burst with happiness!!!”, and the rest is history.

Lance smiles fondly at the memory, quickly wondering if he is cut out for that sort of stuff. He called Allura out on being a mess, but he keeps a record of being even messier. Lance falls, and he falls _fast_ , no parachute or peeking over to see if the other person has leaped too. He just full on dives into the pool and hopes for the best, leaving Hunk to yet again stitch his broken pieces. _But what happens next?_ he thinks. He has never loved anyone fully, per se. Lance has fallen for quirky exteriors, gorgeous faces, bright auras; but what happens when the truth behind it all is finally revealed, and he is left with a real person, with real flaws, fears and problems? Do they fall from his pedestal, walk towards him and slap him for being so dumb? Does he become the heartbreaker then, pushing them away because he thought he had fallen for someone else? Lance remembers Romeo and Juliet and asks himself if that wasn’t just a burning passion that would have dissipated had they not acted impulsively.

He thinks back to what Keith had said the other day, about them being stupid. Lance knows Keith is known to be a hot head, saying whatever is on his mind without really dwelling on it, or maybe dwelling on it too much and saying nothing at all. By what he has heard Shiro say, he knows Keith Kogane is fighting a constant battle between his emotional and impulsive side, and his reason. But, even he could realize that Romeo and Juliet were plain impulsive and had not taken into account several things, suppressing their rational side in favour of doing what they felt was right.

Is he being irrational right now?

He stares at Allura, who is staring back at him, a question hanging over her eyes.

If he was a real professional, he wouldn’t care about this at all; he would just ignore Keith and feign devotion on stage. That’s it, that’s what real actors do.

(but, deep down, he is just a kid. He is just a boy from Cuba who is too scared of letting go, of this Big Feelings he has inside of him, of always being too loud too much too emotional for everyone around him. What if he makes everything too intense and they all freak out? What if he ruins everything?)

(what if he fails in front of Keith?)

(what about his pride?)

(Why are you already freaking out? Estúpido.)

Lance groans, breaking the silence. “I am sorry for freaking out.”

“What’s wrong, Lance?”

  
“I just. Keith is a Major Douchebag who decided he was going to be way better than me at everything I do and I hate him so much for it. Why is he such an asshole? He is always cold and bitter and I just ugh. I can’t stand him, and – “

“Don’t you think that maybe Keith acts that way around you because _you_ are kind of an asshole to him?” Romelle asks, raising her eyebrows. “I mean. The other day he just said hi and you were already screaming at him. I would be a bit of a bitch to you too.”

“I am the asshole? Me?! Rom! You’ve seen him! He is just great at everything and I – “

“Lance, you are extremely talented in a lot of areas, does that make you an asshole?” Allura asks seriously, and Lance doubts for a second before shaking his head. “Well, it doesn’t make Keith one either. Being better than you at something doesn’t automatically mean that that person is an asshole.”

  
“Yeah, that would mean we are all assholes.”

“Hey!” Lance shrieks, playfully punching Romelle’s arm. She just chuckles.

“I just…” Lance starts, trying to find the words. “I don’t wanna mess this up. I don’t want Keith to steal the show and leave me looking dumb. I don’t want him to blame me for anything that ruins his performance, let alone tease me for it.”

  
Allura and Romelle share a look Lance isn’t quite sure what it means, before they fix their eyes on him again.

“Don’t worry about it. You won’t mess up and, in the rare case that you did, Keith wouldn’t tease you about it. He is not that kind of person.”

“And haven’t you pondered the possibility that he is not a divine force that is here to ruin your life? He is human, too – he makes mistakes, as we all do. _He_ might be the one to fuck up.”

The two girls let go of him as he leans back a bit and rests his hands behind his head, his chin smugly up. “Yeah, yeah, I am great. Keith will be the one to fuck everything up. How could I doubt myself in the first place? I am Lance McClain, for Christ’s sake – I am the best thing out there!”

“Okay, that was a fast turn of events.” Romelle whispers to Allura, eyes wide.

Lance is rounding the corner that leads to his class, when the white-haired girl calls him out once more. She leans forward and catches him by the wrist, turning him around.

“Lance,” she says, her voice serious. “You should give Keith a chance.”  
“Yeah, he is cool and I will like him and blab la bla – “

 “No. I am serious.” Allura sends him a soft look that hides more meaning than Lance actually wants to acknowledge. “Trust me.”

* * *

 

(There are days in which you will feel like shit. You will feel like the whole world is out to get you, that everyone wants to hurt you and see yourself bleed out in the middle of the street. That the world is being unfair. But that doesn’t mean it’s true. Stop listening to your head and whatever your inner voice tells you. You are better than this.)

(You are better than your bad days.)

(Please, Lance, remember this.)

* * *

 

As soon as the lights turn on, he shines.

Lance can feel the different shades of lightning Pidge is trying on him kissing his skin. Blue, white, warmer white, creamy white, red. Red, red, red, red. Blue. Blue again. Blue.

Lance lets himself be washed over by the colours, caressing him and softly pushing him away from this reality. He flies, he swims, he wanders. He is not here anymore, he is far away from the gossipy voices and frowns and pressures. A soft pink sky rises above him, blinding him with the beauty of it all, and the ocean.

The ocean.

He has missed it so much. And it’s there, right there, so close and so vivid he can actually breathe in the salty air it carries. He feels the embrace of the waves, the shells fighting a whirlwind and desperately clutching to the skin of his legs. A content murmur builds up in his throat, a rush of something giving him goosebumps. He turns around and tries to find his house, his home, but sometimes he is not even sure he belongs there anymore. Lance feels like a drowning mermaid, a disgrace to his holy kind, those marvellous creatures who can just give out love and happiness without waiting for anything in return. He feels it all rotting in his throat, the fear of not being enough for his family but being too much for the rest of the world.

He can sense the sand around him crippling, disintegrating within his reach, his eyes falling over and a few tears trying to escape him.

The melody of waves clashing against the shore has been replaced by his mother’s whimpering, begging for God to give her strength, to be prepared for when her _papito_ would cross the door and leave her forever.

Lance tries to scream but she can’t hear him, she’s too far away, too lost somewhere he can’t quite reach. He sees a figure approaching him, whispering something about failure, a lost wreck on the ocean floor trying to succeed in a world of airplanes; he sees those eyes he hates and the eyes he calls friends and the eyes he doesn’t quite recognize, but he sees them all. He can’t stop seeing, so he tries to run and find himself somewhere, find out where he is and why is he lost here, where does he go now, when can he go back home -

“-ance!”

His eyes flutter open and he finds his feet glued to the stage.

“You alright there buddy?” Hunk is staring at him weirdly. “We lost you for a second there.”

Lance raises his hands and rans them through his hair, his eyes stuck on the floor below him. When he raises his head to stare at Hunk, he finds Keith behind his friend, frowning at him in confusion.

“What are you staring at, Mullet Head? Mind your own business,” Lance scorns.

Hunk raises his eyebrows and mumbles something about helping Pidge with the lightning. Lance glares at Keith, who hasn’t stopped looking at him.

“Take a picture, Kogane. It lasts longer.”

Keith rolls his eyes and glances down, allowing his bangs to hide his face entirely. Anyway, Lance knows he is frowning, and maybe even biting the inside of his cheeks in a desperate attempt to contain himself from screaming.

Lance is instantly reminded of Allura’s words. Give him a chance, she whispers in his mind, her phrase travelling through her brain and trying to understand how is he supposed to do that. But what is he supposed to do, if the guy is just sitting there acting like a total weirdo. It’s excruciating, really – Keith didn’t even have to mutter a single word to put him on edge. Lance was just minding his own business, drowning in his own min, and this guy had to stare at him as if something was wrong with him. Wasn’t something wrong with him, who was just observing people as if it was normal?

“Hey, Juliet,” Lance calls out, spinning in order to face his rival. But when his eyes land on the previously occupied space, he finds the corner Keith was resting against empty. He glances around, trying to catch sight of him, but the boy is nowhere to be found. Lance is about to mutter a bitter “Juliet” again, when a loud cackle hits his hears.

“Keith, oh – oh my god… you… you are hilarious!” Pidge’s screeches can be barely heard above their silly laughter. Hunk finds himself in the same state, his eyes blazed with happy tears, hunched over his stomach. None of them is able to breathe properly, their lungs desperate to receive an appropriate doze of oxygen. Lance’s eyes narrow when they fall on Keith, shyly standing between them both; his cheeks are tinted pink, eyebrows raised and confused.

“I don’t get what’s so funny?”

Hunk and Pidge fall into a fit of laughter all over again, and Keith allows himself to crack a soft smile.

_No._

Lance scowls and huffs, marching towards them with determination. He crosses his arms when he reaches them, and then demands: “what are you all laughing at, huh?”

Keith’s eyes meet his and they suddenly seem to shut off and lose whatever sparkle was exploding off them just seconds before. “I was wondering the same thing.”

“S’nothing, Lance,” Pidge mumbles, turning back to try out the lighting. “Keith was just cracking us all up.” Hunk starts shifting his weight from one foot to another, scratching the back of his neck. Keith is avoiding his gaze all together.

_Oh._

Lance squints at them. “Were you laughing at me?”

_Lance wait_

The three friends’ eyes open widely in shock, staring at him and then glazing at each other.

 _Caught_ , Lance thinks.

Hunk is the first one to get out of his shocked state and takes a step towards him. “Buddy, what? Why would we be talking about you at all?”

_dumb dumb dumb what are you doing walk away walk away you are being irrational this is all in your head_

 “Yeah, I guess it was dumb of me to think that you would waste precious Keith’s time talking about someone as bluff as me.” Lance chuckles bitterly. “Anyway, beware of this Mullet guy over here, he might steal your technician’s places as well as he stole my whole life and everything I do because it seems he can’t get things on his own.”

_this isn’t real this is all in your head stop stop this isn’t you get away get away run away_

Lance’s words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. He is filled with a sudden, unwelcomed rage that is begging him to throw something or cry or both. So, this too, uh? It wasn’t enough for Keith to try to overshadow him on stage, but now he also wanted to be the one that made his best friends laugh. Lance could feel his hands trembling, frustration choking and paralyzing him whole. Three different expressions were staring back at him – shock, anger and something indescribable, maybe a combination of the former both or just a totally new expression he had never seen before. Keith’s eyes were open wide with shock, yes, but his brows were furrowing and Lance could sense his jaw’s muscles clenching. Pidge raises her small palm and sets it firmly over Keith’s shoulder, squishing in reassurance. The hothead seems to relax at the touch, but is still stiff and ready to just rip Lance’s head off.

“Lance what are you – “

Before Hunk can even finish his sentence, Lance grabs the coffee mug beside him and throws the burning liquid towards Keith. Everything seems to stop when the black liquid mixes up with his co-star’s black v-neck while he lets out something along the lines of “fuck!” and a gasp of horror. Lance uses the shock of the moment as an opportunity to run away. He slams the theatre’s door shut and lets his feet guide him towards wherever they’ll feel safe now.

_run_

* * *

 

_“Guys, I want you to meet my brother, Keith,” Shiro’s healthy arm is snagged over a pair of muscly yet tiny shoulders. “Keith, these are my friends, the guys I talked to you about.”_

_“Keith!” Allura approaches him and shakes his hand, beaming at him. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! Shiro has told us all about you.”_

_Keith seems startled, to say the least. He scowls and turns towards his brother, “You told them about me?”_

_Shiro scratches the back of his head and chuckles. “Well, yeah, sort of… I mean…”_

_Lance appears from behind Allura and points his trademarked finger guns towards Keith. “The name’s Lance. But you already know that.” He winks, and lets his eyes wander over the boy standing in front of him._

_Keith blinks at him. “Who are you?”_

_  
“What?! Are you serious?” Lance stares at him indignantly. “We took the same entrance course!”_

_“Really? Are you an art student?”_

_“No! I am an astronomy major! We were like rivals. You know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck.”_

_“Oh, wait, I think I might remember you…” Keith strokes his chin, and then looks at him unphased. “Aren’t you the guy who wouldn’t stop flirting with Nyma?”_

_“Wha-!” Lance flushes and stomps his feet. “Nothing about my dashing intellect? Don’t you remember our intense rivalry?”_

_“Um. No? Sorry.” Keith replies back, confused. “That rivalry seems pretty one-sided.”_

_“Oh, consider yourself dead to me, Keith Kogane!” Lance throws himself at the couch and crosses his arms, pouting._

* * *

 

Lance has his back pressed against a giant oak tree, his face hidden between his knees. He can hear a few thundering clouds announcing a future storm, but the sky seems to be holding up pretty good until now, the sun setting brightly on the distance. A few flowers are growing against his feet, and Lance has to try his best not to rip them off and crush them.

His lungs are rotting, the rage from a few minutes before still there, still clinging onto him as if its life depended on it. He feels the venom crusading through his veins, paralyzing every inch of his being into this numbness that tries to take him hostage. Angry tears well up on his tear glands and he bites his lips in a desperate attempt to keep them in.

He is exhausted of feeling like this, of _being_ like this, of everything being too much for him. Of his obsessions, his dwelling on things that don’t actually matter that much, on things that make him look stupid. He wonders what it would be like to just act like a normal guy, like someone who doesn’t hold grudges over oblivious artsy boys who just want to succeed. Hunk asked him what was he so mad about, why was he so upset at Keith; it isn’t that much of a big deal if someone you hadn’t even talked to barely remembered you, if they had remembered you for the wrong reasons, an unsuitable image of yourself the only thing they had grasped onto.

But it was so much more than Keith forgetting about him.

It was the effortlessness by which he seemed to succeed at everything.

It was the way he had everyone loving him.

It was Pigde’s carefree laugh, head back, eyes closed.

It was Shiro’s soft, comprehensive smiles.

It was the way Allura lit up whenever Keith performed.

It was in his amazing drawings, his brush strokes.

It was in the asshole-y way he treated Lance sometimes.

(“ _I would be a bit of a bitch to you, too”_ )

It was in Keith trying to steal Lance’s place.

Always.

And Lance was well known for overthinking things. Lance, the guy who lived mostly trapped inside his head, spiralling down into a mess of unresolved trauma and weird obsessions with whoever caught his eye. He had once allowed himself to wonder if his frustration towards Keith wasn’t just a projection, envy mixing up with awe and his insecurities banging his door begging to be let in.

But it couldn’t be.

Keith was truly negligible; it seemed as if everything he wanted he got it served on a plate of gold, the whole world trying to make him happy.

And there Lance was. A poor Cuban boy whose whole family (including him) had to work their asses off to get him into a good college. People were trying to get him down because he was latino, while Keith got his way around surely because the stereotype said Asians were always smart and hard working. But no, Lance was Cuban, so he was probably a lazy brown guy who just wanted to live here undocumented and steal Americans’ jobs (and also steal their money or kill them or something ‘savages’ did)

It just wasn’t fair.

However, he tries to think things through. Everything seems like a mess right now, and when things around him seem messy and incomprehensible, Lance’s got a tendency to get twitchy, irritated and act impulsively, losing control of his emotions. But he realizes this lack of structure is caused by nothing more than his own head, because around him everyone is acting like they always do. Nobody is dying or suffering or whatever. Nobody sees things as he does, because only him knows what is going on inside his head. Keith, Pidge and Hunk just see crazy Lance blowing off and acting like a weirdo – when in reality, Lance has lived too long inside his head, too trapped within his skin to actually rationalize the situation going on and acting without further thought. Lance has been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of not-sleeping, a lot of self-pity and dwelling on his stuff and making it ten times as harder and catastrophic as they actually are.

He made a whole situation 100% more dramatic than it actually was.

And made it worse, acting cathartically and throwing someone coffee.

_Coffee._

Like in a bad teen coming of age movie.

Lance fishes his phone out of his pocket to find it blowed up with messages, not only from Hunk and Pidge, but from Shiro and Allura, too.

**Pidgeotto**

_dude what the FUCK_

_call me back. Asap_

_what the actual FUCK lance seriously_

_where are you?????????????_

_LANCE_

**Hunkercules**

_Hey buddy. How you holding up?_

_Is everything okay?:(_

_You just pulled a total High School Musical diva right now :P_

_Call me, please? <3_

**Shiro McDad**

_Lance. Did Keith do anything wrong?_

_I am worried. It’s not like you to behave this way._

_I will reprimand him if he mistreated you._

**Princess Allura**

_Lance, call me back, please._

Lance knows that the only person who won’t pull a total Mom Moment on him is Pidge, so he dials their number and after a few peep peep peep’s and ripping off a few grass strands, they finally pick up.

“Seems like the princess decided to stop hiding, huh?”

“Look, Pidge, I – “

  
“Hold on dummy. I am not the one you should be apologizing to.”

“I know, but still, I acted like a total asshole – “

  
“Yeah, that you did. It wasn’t very nice of you to throw coffee around and stuff. Keith is pretty upset about it.”

“Kogane? Feelings? Ha. You almost got me there.”

“Dude. You are wrong about so much stuff. It’s actually funny to see someone who hates being taken for granted and judged by their appearance doing the exact same thing to someone else,” Pidge sighs. “Whatever. What’s going on now? Need to hide a body? I told you not to call me to my trackable phone if that’s the issue – “

“What? Pidge, no!” Lance groans. “Look. I know I totally fucked up today and I have some explaining to do I guess, but I don’t have Mullet’s number nor do I know where he lives, so um – “

“Nope. I’m not acting as a messenger between you two.”

“Oh, come on!” He frowns as if Pidge could see him. “Just tell him that I apologized to you!”

“Lance that’s not how things work.”

  
“What do you even know about how things work? You are like twelve!”

“Yeah, on a scale from one to ten, jackass. Just go to his dorm, apologize, and don’t throw any more coffee at him. I think you might have traumatized him. Maybe he can’t drink coffee ever again. You know how serious that is, right?”

“But isn’t that just weird? Like, do I just drop by like hey dude this is me and um I am sorry for being a mess?”

“Lance, it’s even weirder that you threw coffee at him just because.”

“I don’t want him to get out a knife or something and attack me. He looks like the kind of guy that just carries knives around.”

“So you were brave enough to attack him in front of everyone but not to go over and apologize?”

“Now you are just being annoying.”

  
“No, _you_ are being annoying. Dude. I’ll text you his dorm number. Go over there now or I’ll be the one to attack you with a knife,” Lance is about to hang up when he hears Pidge again. “Oh! And please call Hunk, he is worried about you and is about to RIP MY HAIR OFF HUNK GET OFF OF ME – “

Lance stops hearing Pidge’s voice, and a few seconds later he gets a text with a room number. Without further thought, he finds himself walking over to Keith’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance why are you like this
> 
> I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS CHAPTER! I wrote it, like, a thousand times. And I am. So. Tired. (it took me SO LONG to decide if keith was going to Suffer in this chapter because i love him too much for lance to throw coffEE at him but hey it's business)
> 
> Chapter's title is from Kiss with a Fist by Florence + the machine.

**Author's Note:**

> you: keith doesn't know how to flirt  
> me, an intellectual, who remembers the "heh, like that?" and "and, lance? leave the math to pidge" moments: you sure about that buddy?
> 
> heyyyyyy! i hope you are liking this so far!! the first few chapters might be a bit boring because i'm trying to set the Mood and the Characters and getting comfortable with writing them. but hang in there!! things will get exciting soon!! (why do i sound like a mom trying to be hip with their kids' friends? jesus)


End file.
